The Kingdom of Mercia and the lankan connection

It's just been revealed that a lone man going walkies in the midlands (some where in Staffordshire I think) with a metal detector has just discovered one of the most valuable and the largest collections of Anglo Saxon treasure! Amazing isn't it? Experts have so far established that there were at least 650 items of gold in the haul, weighing more than 5kgs (11lb), and 530 silver objects totalling more than 1kg (2.2lb) in weight. Copper alloy, garnets and glass objects were also discovered at the undisclosed site. This also includes warfare paraphernalia, including sword pommel caps and hilt plates inlaid with precious stones.

And guess what? almost all of these precious stones are said to have come from that tiny island in the Indian ocean we all love. Yep, from our beautiful Srilanka, known as Ceylon then or maybe by a totally different name, who knows! The important thing is, our stones have been discovered on English soil and we're part of one of the biggest archaeological finds in UK history and maybe world history.

I can just imagine all the visa lawyers tip-exing their clients' application forms now. For the question where they ask, do you have any relatives in the UK the answer is now going to be, yes the Anglo Saxons. Do you have any means of proving that? Yes, please speak to the British Museum. Do you have enough financial means to support the course you're attending? Yes, please refer the valuation given by the museum but I hear it's a seven figure sum. For all holiday maker visa applicants one of the most popular questions on the visa form is, where in the UK are you going to visit? The answer is now going to be, Staffordshire.

Fail to plan...Plan to fail...

The English are quite good at planning things. Especially planning to mitigate losses. What baffles me is the fact that most of them are not scared of things going wrong. Actually, they're scared of things going right and not knowing what to do!

Our in house marketing guru, who mind you is a mild mannered guy is one of them. We planned a campaign together to launch a brilliant product that would bring us immediate revenue as well as much needed standing in the profession. Having done all the hard work of planning the build up and launch campaign, this guy just lets things linger on.

In the meantime, a rival organisation throws a spanner at the works by taking legal action against us for being anti competitive. Now, when I heard this, my first reaction was absolute rage. I thought about the whole family tree of that organisations' CEO. All of them would've sneezed that day. I won't delve much into this organisation and what it did as I might start using foul language on this lovely blog! :)

Now my friend, the marketing guru on the other hand called for an immediate meeting to inform everyone about his plan to fire fight, which mind you was not too bad and then he ran around the building like a headless chicken telling people what to say and what not to say.

A few pain staking months pass by and we now hear that we could finally launch our product! I for once was ecstatic. I was expecting another headless chicken moment from the guru any minute. How ever, what I came across was a dejected man who was so afraid that he reminded me of a little boy who's just about to sit for his first exam.

Now this man was insane. We plan our entire summer for this great moment and all he could come up with were reasons to delay the launch. We have a great platform to launch this product and this man is afraid that we would receive a million phone calls from interested parties. Come on now! I would rather have this problem as opposed to not having anyone interested in our product. When I told him this, he did what any bloke with a bullish mentality would do. The guy pounced on me and and tried his luck at being loud at me.

Big mistake! I'm not sure what I told him exactly at that moment but judging by his reactions, I think he was about to cry and run towards his mummy!

and the award for the most annoying office laugh goes to.....

Oh that noise! she laughs...she phones her friends and laughs. She calls her husband and laughs. She calls down stairs and laughs. To make things worse, the laugh follows up with a 5 minute chat and an old woman's gargle! I know I shouldn't be complaining about this new woman at office but I hate that laugh. If there was a cockney laugh, this would be it. If there was an award for the most annoying laugh, she would win it hands down. Why am I moaning then if she's laughing? well...she snorts and then she tries to talk in between. I'll mind this if it didn't disturb my work but this laugh is something else. Imagine meditating in a temple and a monk suddenly comes and whacks you on the head! If you can't...then imagine living in a glass house and a naughty kid pelting the house. I tell you, it's that bad. Daniel hates her, Hayes despises her and I...well...you know what I feel about her. I know that this sounds like a Wendy Whatmore poem but if you were part of this organisation, you'd recognise that laugh from a mile. The worse thing is that she's new and she laughs like a cow. I'm not saying that all new people shouldn't laugh...then again I did say it didn't I? That's because this laugh is making me go insane! If this blog dries up in the future, it's simply because I'd be behind bars for attacking a woman who had a wild laugh.